"Do you remember that time our Young Woman President took us to a Drag show?" This is now an inside joke between Emma Bentz, Scotlynn Blair and I.
Yup. That's right. I took my girls to a Drag show. If you know me, you know there has got to be a good explanation. So here it is.
I have this Laurel. Her name is Azaria Mailo. I think she's come to church once since I was called as the Young Women President (5 months ago). And she hasn't been to a single activity. This isn't due to lack of effort on my part. I've invited, informed, offered to pick her up. Most of the time she doesn't respond to my texts. So I sent her messages on FaceBook with a similar lack of response. And I don't just text her about churchy stuff. No one likes someone who only cares about whether or not they go to church. I want her to know that I love her. And I WANT to get to know HER. On a personal level.
On Tuesday, Azari's mom, Moana, posted on FaceBook that Azaria was performing in a talent show. Awesome. This will be a great chance to support Azaria and show her that I love her. Azaria has an AMAZING voice! Shortly after Moana's FB post, Azaria texted me (I LOVE when she actually texts me). "Hi Sister Boley, I've become oddly distant again, and it's not your fault at all! I'm sorry again, that's so awesome that you have seen my concert though, and I miss seeing everyone from Young Women's!"
So I sent a text out to the other Laurels asking them if they were planning on going to the talent show. They all go to the same High School together. I expected them to know about the talent show. But they didn't. I filled them in on what I knew (which wasn't much) and asked if they wanted to go support Azaria. It was then that Scotlynn figured out that the talent show was the "GSA talent show" (Gay Straight Alliance) and that there was going to be Drag Queen(s) performing.
Oh my. What have I done? I just invited my sweet, innocent young women to a Drag Show! I still felt it was important to support Azaria. And Jesus said love everyone (no matter their sexual preference). But is this appropriate? So, I sent a text to their moms asking their permission to take their sweet daughters to this Drag Show. Oh my! Emma's mom, Wendee said that it could be inappropriate. Cami, Scotlynn's mom said that Scotlynn was checking into it. She knew one of the boys in it and she also knew the teacher overseeing it.
Word got back to Scotlynn that it was clean. Scotlynn still wanted to go to support Azaria. And then Emma joined the band wagon.
So here we are. 3 Mormon women. Feeling slightly out of place. This isn't normally where the Mormon's go hang out. And yet here we were. Supporting our friend.
There was some amazing talent performed that night. There were 2 guys dressed in Drag that put on quite the performance. Secretly I was envious of his moves. And he had great legs. But the rest of the numbers were awesome.
The last performance was a monologue given by a gay boy. He told about his first experience in High School. He told about how he was made fun of. Bullied. And the school did nothing to protect him. He told of the tears that streamed down his face. Wanting to belong. To fit in. But not. He told about the GSA and how they accepted him. Welcomed him. Hugged him. Cried with him. Supported him. He promised that he would go on to fight for fair rights and fair treatment. It was a powerful,eye opening monologue. No one should be treated unkindly. I don't care what your sexual preference is. I don't care what color you are. Everyone is a child of God. And deserves kindness.
Yes. I did take my Young Women to a Drag Show. And I would do it again. Azaria was SO happy to see us there! She was SO happy that we came and supported her. Azaria is an amazing young woman. She is beautiful. And talented.
Friday, May 15, 2015
Thursday, April 9, 2015
Hope
Hope is good. Really good.
Dad had an appointment with a urologist today. The urologist said that until they get samples under a microscope, they can't know exactly what their dealing with (cancer? something else?). He said that 80% of spots on kidneys are cancerous. But they can't know for sure until they do a biopsy. Dad also had some infection in his urine that they're mildly concerned about. They will study the urine closer (fun, right?) and determine when a biopsy can take place. The urine might give them more clues as to what else is going on.
If the spots on the kidneys ARE cancer, the urologist said they're small enough (about the size of a dime) that they can be removed without further complications and Dad could live for another 20 years. YEA!!!
Now, this doesn't account for the spots on his lungs. The 3 spots that are on his lungs are in his right lobe. They too are small. The urologist said it would be very difficult to get samples of the spots on the lungs due to their small size and location.
The concern is if the spots on the kidneys ARE cancerous and they metastasized to the lungs, our hope may be crushed again.
For now, I'm going with hope. Dad said we had to call off all the funeral arrangements. :) GLADLY!!!
Dad had an appointment with a urologist today. The urologist said that until they get samples under a microscope, they can't know exactly what their dealing with (cancer? something else?). He said that 80% of spots on kidneys are cancerous. But they can't know for sure until they do a biopsy. Dad also had some infection in his urine that they're mildly concerned about. They will study the urine closer (fun, right?) and determine when a biopsy can take place. The urine might give them more clues as to what else is going on.
If the spots on the kidneys ARE cancer, the urologist said they're small enough (about the size of a dime) that they can be removed without further complications and Dad could live for another 20 years. YEA!!!
Now, this doesn't account for the spots on his lungs. The 3 spots that are on his lungs are in his right lobe. They too are small. The urologist said it would be very difficult to get samples of the spots on the lungs due to their small size and location.
The concern is if the spots on the kidneys ARE cancerous and they metastasized to the lungs, our hope may be crushed again.
For now, I'm going with hope. Dad said we had to call off all the funeral arrangements. :) GLADLY!!!
Tuesday, April 7, 2015
The "C" word
Cancer.
We all know someone. Someone who has been effected by Cancer.
Cancer isn't in my family. Both sets of Grandparents died of natural causes. Cancer is not natural. It's something that happens to someone else. Or someone else's family. Not mine.
Until now...
On Thursday night, shortly after Debbi, Brent, Brayden, Bailee and Maegan got to our house, and after we celebrated Cooper's birthday, we received a text from Mom instructing us adults to go to a quiet room without children present and give them a call.
Dad had been to the Doctor to have a checkup shortly before they came to AZ. He'd been more tired than normal. So Mom hounded him until he finally made the appointment. The Doctor asked them to come in for a follow up appointment. Mom and Dad told me this while they were here, but I didn't think anything of it. They both just turned 70. They're just getting a little older. Turns out, I was wrong.
Words like "spots on both kidneys" "spots on lungs" "enlarged spleen" "lymphoma" "low white blood cells" "possible cancer" were uttered as I sat frozen. In disbelief. Shock. Denial. Debbi sobbed.
They mentioned that they had a follow up appointment with the oncologist on Monday at 9:00 am.
That gave me 3 1/2 days to come up with all the worst case scenarios. Some people are diagnosed with cancer and die within weeks. Some people are diagnosed with cancer, kick its butt and live a long life. I found myself asking all the "What if" questions. What if this was the last time Dad was able to come down to my house? What would I say at his funeral? My Dad can't REALLY die. I'm not ready for that! I know he's 70 years old. I know he's lived a great life. I know he's a really good man. But I'm not ready to say "Good Bye." Not now. I still need my Dad.
The oncologist agreed with Dad's doctor. Looks like cancer. They don't know how long he's had it. Nothing they can do. "2 years". With my worst case scenario being 2 weeks, 2 years feels like a huge gift.
For now I'm grateful that he's feeling well. We're planning on doing all the "future" things sooner rather than later. We'll celebrate mom and dad's 50th anniversary early. Mom wants to throw a "Going away" party for Dad where all of his former students can come tell him how much they love him and admire him.
I'm fighting the urge to pack up and move home. Just so I can spend as much time as possible with him while he feels good. Before it's too late.
It's crazy to me that just over a week ago, Dad and I sat outside on my
back porch talking about how lucky our family has been. How nothing tragic has hit our family. Besides Aunt Charlene (who lost her fight to ALS) we have all been very healthy.
That was then.
This is now.
We all know someone. Someone who has been effected by Cancer.
Cancer isn't in my family. Both sets of Grandparents died of natural causes. Cancer is not natural. It's something that happens to someone else. Or someone else's family. Not mine.
Until now...
On Thursday night, shortly after Debbi, Brent, Brayden, Bailee and Maegan got to our house, and after we celebrated Cooper's birthday, we received a text from Mom instructing us adults to go to a quiet room without children present and give them a call.
Dad had been to the Doctor to have a checkup shortly before they came to AZ. He'd been more tired than normal. So Mom hounded him until he finally made the appointment. The Doctor asked them to come in for a follow up appointment. Mom and Dad told me this while they were here, but I didn't think anything of it. They both just turned 70. They're just getting a little older. Turns out, I was wrong.
Words like "spots on both kidneys" "spots on lungs" "enlarged spleen" "lymphoma" "low white blood cells" "possible cancer" were uttered as I sat frozen. In disbelief. Shock. Denial. Debbi sobbed.
They mentioned that they had a follow up appointment with the oncologist on Monday at 9:00 am.
That gave me 3 1/2 days to come up with all the worst case scenarios. Some people are diagnosed with cancer and die within weeks. Some people are diagnosed with cancer, kick its butt and live a long life. I found myself asking all the "What if" questions. What if this was the last time Dad was able to come down to my house? What would I say at his funeral? My Dad can't REALLY die. I'm not ready for that! I know he's 70 years old. I know he's lived a great life. I know he's a really good man. But I'm not ready to say "Good Bye." Not now. I still need my Dad.
The oncologist agreed with Dad's doctor. Looks like cancer. They don't know how long he's had it. Nothing they can do. "2 years". With my worst case scenario being 2 weeks, 2 years feels like a huge gift.
For now I'm grateful that he's feeling well. We're planning on doing all the "future" things sooner rather than later. We'll celebrate mom and dad's 50th anniversary early. Mom wants to throw a "Going away" party for Dad where all of his former students can come tell him how much they love him and admire him.
I'm fighting the urge to pack up and move home. Just so I can spend as much time as possible with him while he feels good. Before it's too late.
It's crazy to me that just over a week ago, Dad and I sat outside on my
back porch talking about how lucky our family has been. How nothing tragic has hit our family. Besides Aunt Charlene (who lost her fight to ALS) we have all been very healthy.
That was then.
This is now.
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